Mindful parenting is a child-centered approach that involves being present, attentive, and non-judgmental in the moment-to-moment interactions with your child. It draws from mindfulness practices, which involve cultivating awareness of one's thoughts, emotions, and sensations in the present moment.
I feel so lucky to have been raised by a mom who practiced mindful parenting long before there was a word for it. Drawing on her background in child psychology and eclectic spirituality, she did an incredible job attuning to her children's needs, setting developmentally-appropriate expectations, and empowering us to feel like equally valued members of the home even at a very young age. I'm grateful for the emotional resiliency and awareness that I was raised with and credit my own emotional intelligence to my mom's mindful parenting style.
If you're curious to learn more about this powerful parenting approach, here's a quick overview.
What are some of the key principles of mindful parenting?
Mindful parenting is all about building an authentic connection with your kids by being present with them and cultivating awareness rather than being reactionary.
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Being Present: Mindful parents strive to be fully present and engaged with their children, paying attention to their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors without distraction.
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Non-judgmental Awareness: Mindful parents aim to cultivate an attitude of non-judgmental acceptance toward themselves and their children, acknowledging and accepting their thoughts, emotions, and behaviors without criticism.
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Emotional Regulation: Mindful parenting involves developing emotional regulation skills, both for the parent and the child, which can help manage stress and conflicts more effectively. This often requires a commitment to inner child healing and reparenting as you come into contact with your own childhood triggers.
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Empathy and Understanding: Mindful parents seek to understand their children's perspectives and emotions, fostering empathy and connection in the parent-child relationship.
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Response vs. Reaction: Mindful parents strive to respond to their children's behaviors thoughtfully and intentionally, rather than reacting impulsively out of frustration or anger.
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Self-Care: Mindful parenting emphasizes the importance of self-care for parents, recognizing that taking care of one's own well-being is essential for being present and attentive to the needs of their children.
- Repair. No parent is perfect all the time and every relationship will experience rupture. Mindful parenting doesn't ask you to be flawless, but we do have to take responsibility and model accountability by repairing (i.e. apologizing) when we make mistakes.
Is mindful parenting the same as permissive parenting?
While many people assume that mindful parenting means you always put your child's feelings first and therefor never correct or redirect their behavior, this couldn't be further from the truth! Our children rely on us to help them understand and navigate the world and so it's extremely important to hold developmentally appropriate expectations and firm boundaries.
I don't believe in shielding my children from negative emotions. Instead, I want to teach them how to build emotional resiliency by understanding that feelings like anger, sadness, and disappointment are just part of life. This often means saying no, setting limits, and holding boundaries. But we do so with kindness rather than anger, shame, or blame.
Is mindful parenting a good approach?
Many experts and parents find mindful parenting to be a beneficial approach for fostering healthy parent-child relationships and promoting children's emotional well-being. By being more present, attentive, and empathetic, mindful parents can create a supportive and nurturing environment for their children to thrive.
However, like any parenting approach, mindful parenting may not be suitable for every family or every situation. It requires practice, patience, and self-awareness, and it may not resonate with all parents or fit seamlessly into every family's dynamics.
How can I start practicing mindful parenting?
If you're interested in becoming a more mindful parent, here are some steps you can take to get started:
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Learn About Mindfulness: While I frequently talk about my own experience with mindful parenting in my videos, I can only scratch the surface in short clips! To really implement this parenting philosophy, you'll want to dive deep into mindful parenting perspectives & strategies by learning from folks who have far more expertise than I do. Here's a list of some of my favorite mindful parenting books: while they're not all specifically about parenting, they have all helped to shape my perspective as I work to develop more self-awareness and self-compassion that supports my ability to be the parent I want to be. (Note: this page contains affiliate links so if you make a purchase through my link I may earn a commission.)
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Practice Mindfulness: Set aside time each day to practice mindfulness meditation or other mindfulness exercises. This could be as simple as sitting quietly and focusing on your breath for a few minutes each day. Regular practice can help you develop greater awareness and presence in your daily life.
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Be Present with Your Child: Make a conscious effort to be fully present and engaged when interacting with your child. Put away distractions like phones or other screens, and give your child your undivided attention. Even if you just start with 5 minutes every day where you focus on being fully present with your child, I can almost guarantee you'll see immediate positive effects!
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Practice Non-judgmental Awareness: Notice your thoughts, emotions, and reactions as they arise during interactions with your child, and try to observe them without judgment or criticism. This can help you respond to your child with greater empathy and understanding.
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Listen Actively: Practice active listening when your child talks to you, giving them your full attention and validating their feelings. Avoid interrupting or immediately jumping in with advice or criticism.
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Take Moments for Reflection: Throughout the day, take brief moments to pause and check in with yourself. Notice how you're feeling and whether you're reacting to situations with mindfulness or with automatic, habitual responses.
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Model Mindfulness for Your Child: Children learn by example, so strive to model mindful behavior for your child. Let them see you practicing mindfulness, and encourage them to join you in simple mindfulness exercises appropriate for their age. My album "Blow a Kiss to the Moon" contains a number of songs that contain lyrics that double as mindfulness exercises as well as a child-friendly guided meditation.
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Be Kind to Yourself: Remember that mindfulness is a practice, and it's normal to have moments where you feel less capable of being present. Be gentle with yourself and acknowledge that cultivating mindfulness is an ongoing journey and you will have countless opportunities to do be the parent you want to be.
By incorporating these steps into your daily life, you can gradually cultivate greater mindfulness and presence in your parenting, fostering a more connected and harmonious relationship with your child.