My music is for my own inner child just as much as it's for my children.
If there's one thing I've learned through nearly 3 years of parenting, it's that the act of nurturing your child will bring up all of your own childhood wounds. And if we want to be the gentle, emotionally regulated, present parents we wish we'd had, we have to commit to reparenting our inner child.
By being able to recognize my own inner child wounds, I empower myself to actively reparent myself in the way that little girl needed which allows me to be a more present, less reactive parent to my kids.
Reparenting doesn't mean that your parents did a terrible job or that you were abused or that they were failures. It simply means that as an adult, you have the ability to give yourself what you needed when you were little.
I talk about reparenting a lot, but what does it actually mean?
what is reparenting?
Reparenting aims to help adults heal their inner child and develop a more nurturing, supportive and healthy relationship with themselves. The process is based on the idea that when a person's emotional needs weren't met in childhood, they have an "inner child" that requires healing, nurturing and guidance.
Reparenting can involve a variety of therapeutic techniques such as talk therapy, mindfulness, visualization and meditation, journaling, play therapy, and creative expression. The goal is to help individuals to identify and address unresolved childhood issues, to understand and care for their inner child, and to integrate the inner child into the present self.
Please remember that my songs could never be a replacement for professional therapy! But I do find that singing songs can help me rewire some of my ingrained narratives and help me feel more gentleness toward my inner child. I find that reparenting affirmations to feel cheesy and unnatural so it's much easier for me to sing songs to myself with lyrics that help me develop a more positive self-talk. If you're the same way, you might like my Reparenting Playlist on Spotify!
Reparenting can help individuals to develop a more positive self-image, to improve their emotional regulation, to have better relationships and to feel more self-confident. It can also help you understand and overcome the negative beliefs, behaviors and coping mechanisms that you may have developed as a child to survive in a challenging environment.
Reparenting is not a one-time process, but it's a lifelong journey of self-discovery, healing, and growth.
What is an inner child?
The inner child refers to the part of a person's psyche that represents their emotional and behavioral characteristics from childhood. It is the part of the self that holds memories, emotions, and patterns of behavior from childhood, and can shape an individual's current thoughts, feelings, and behavior.
The inner child is often thought of as being made up of three aspects: the natural child, the hurt child, and the protected child. The natural child is the innocent, curious, and playful part of the self that is full of wonder and creativity. The hurt child is the part that holds memories of pain, trauma, and insecurity. The protected child is the part that developed coping mechanisms and defense mechanisms to protect the individual from further hurt and pain.
The inner child can have a significant impact on an individual's emotional and psychological well-being. When the inner child is hurt or neglected, it can lead to negative emotions and behaviors such as fear, anger, and low self-esteem. On the other hand, when the inner child is nurtured and acknowledged, it can lead to positive emotions and behaviors such as self-confidence, trust, and healthy relationships.
Some therapies and self-help practices, such as inner child work, can help individuals to understand and heal their inner child. This can involve identifying and addressing unresolved childhood issues, learning to understand and care for one's inner child, and learning to integrate the inner child into the present self.
How can inner child healing help me become a better parent?
Inner child healing can help individuals understand and process past experiences that may be impacting their present-day relationships and behaviors, including their role as a parent. Here are a few ways that inner child healing can help individuals become better parents:
- Improved self-awareness: Inner child healing can help individuals gain a better understanding of their own emotions and behaviors, which can improve their ability to be self-aware and respond to their child's needs in a healthy and appropriate way.
- Increased empathy: Inner child healing can also help individuals develop greater empathy for their children, as they learn to understand and relate to the emotional experiences of their own childhood.
- Better communication: As individuals heal their own past emotional wounds, they may be able to communicate more effectively with their children and be more responsive to their needs.
- Ability to set healthy boundaries: Inner child healing can also help individuals set healthy boundaries in their relationships, including their relationship with their children. This can lead to better balance between giving and receiving love and support.
- Decreased reactivity: By healing past emotional wounds, individuals may also be able to reduce their reactivity to stress and difficult situations, which can lead to more effective problem-solving and decision-making as a parent.
- Improved emotional regulation: Inner child healing can also help individuals improve their emotional regulation skills, which can be beneficial for managing difficult or overwhelming emotions that may arise during parenthood.
Inner child healing is a personal and unique lifelong journey, but it can be a beneficial tool for individuals who want to improve their parenting skills and become better parents.
what are some ways to work on healing your inner child?
Working on healing your inner child can help you to understand and address unresolved childhood issues, and improve your emotional and psychological well-being. Here are some ways to work on healing your inner child:
- Journaling: Writing about your feelings, memories and experiences can be a helpful way to process and understand your inner child.
- Guided imagery and visualization: Using visualization and guided imagery can help you to connect with your inner child and understand their needs and feelings.
- Mindfulness: Mindfulness practices such as meditation and yoga can help you to be more present and aware of your inner child's needs and feelings.
- Therapy: Talking to a therapist or counselor can help you to understand and address the unresolved issues of your inner child.
- Creative expression: Engaging in creative activities such as drawing, painting, and writing can help you to connect with and express your inner child's feelings and emotions.
- Play therapy: Engaging in activities that you enjoyed as a child can help you to reconnect with your inner child and heal past hurts.
- Self-compassion: Practice self-compassion and self-care to nurture and support your inner child.
- Positive affirmations: Use positive affirmations to remind yourself of your worth and to counteract negative thoughts and feelings from the past. Many of my songs (like "I Love You More") can help with this!