Ever since the day we brought our twin boys home from the hospital, we've sung 3-4 bedtime lullabies to them before they go to sleep.
Every. single. night.
For 3.5 years now.
Lullabies are the backbone of our bedtime routine and while we're often completely exhausted by the time comes around to sing them, it's a step we never skip. While I know that we're lucky that both boys are generally good sleepers, I think the fact that we've always maintained a really consistent bedtime routine has helped immensely.
Even if you don't fancy yourself a good singer, I think incorporating songs into your nightly rituals can be an extremely powerful parenting tool (and the science agrees!). Here's why.
Bedtime Lullabies Help to:
Ease the transition to bedtime
Incorporating lullabies into a bedtime routine can help signal to children that it's time to start winding down and preparing for sleep. Over time, children will associate lullabies with feelings of safety, security, and comfort and hearing familiar lullabies can calm their nervous system and remind them that it's safe to fall asleep. Consistency is key when it comes to bedtime routines, and singing a lullaby (or 4!) can become a comforting and familiar part of the routine that lets children that it's time to sleep.
Almost like clockwork, by the time we get to the 2nd song my children start yawning.
Support emotional regulation
Music is an incredibly powerful tool for regulating emotions, promoting relaxation, and enhancing overall emotional well-being. Bedtime lullabies typically have a slow and soothing melody, which can help calm children and prepare them for sleep. The gentle rhythm and repetitive nature of lullabies can help relax the body and mind, making it easier for children to transition into sleep.
For kiddos who are extra wound up before bed, songs that incorporate breathing techniques and mind-body awareness can be an especially helpful tool. I was inspired to write "Whispering Heart" for Z because he often has a burst of big energy just before bed and I've found that helping him connect with his body helps him calm down quickly.
Reassure anxious kiddos
Many children feel anxious before bed: whether it's due to separation anxiety because they're worried about being away from you all night or because they're afraid of the dark, lullabies can serve as a distraction from any anxieties or worries that children may have about going to sleep. By focusing on the soothing melody and lyrics of the lullaby, children may be able to redirect their attention away from their fears and drift off to sleep more easily.
Because we repeat them so often, the lyrics that their favorite lullabies contain can become part their inner narrative. Think about it: if the words we hear most frequently as children become our inner narrative later in life, then the lyrics of the songs they request to hear over and over can have a powerful impact in shaping the humans we want to raise. This is what inspired me to create my latest song collection, "Blow a Kiss to the Moon." While we love the soothing melodies of Twinkle Twinkle and Hush Little Baby, the lyrics aren't exactly reassuring or supportive.
I wrote these lullabies to help kids who are scared of the dark feel empowered over their fears. To help wound-up kiddos take a breath and settle into their bodies. To help sensitive moon bbs connect with the energy of the universe. And to give parents the words to remind our kids that everything is ok, we're here, we love you forever and always.
Strengthen the parent-child bond
Singing together before bed creates space for one last point of connection before bed. It's such an intimate and nurturing moment of connection and I love feeling my children soften and settle in my arms as we go through the songs. The act of singing to a child can create a nurturing and intimate moment of connection, promoting feelings of love and security that can help children feel more relaxed and settled before bedtime. And I love knowing that my kids will have these memories of our family singing together, sharing one last bonding moment before bed.
Do lullabies work for adults too?
Songs are powerful activators for memory & nostalgia. When we build a strong association between a certain song and feeling relaxed, safe, and at ease, we can often reconnect with that feeling simply by singing it to ourself. This Facebook comment perfectly sums up another gift that we give to our children when sing to them: a tool they can draw on whenever they need a little bit of support.
